In 7 weeks time we are heading to Mexico to begin a new adventure. So many people have asked us how come Mexico and why now, so here’s the story.
The last few years in the UK have been challenging. It’s no secret that we have spent years trying to adopt a child and it’s been a less positive experience which has left us worn out. Over the years we’ve been given a list of baseless excuses as to why we can’t adopt in our area but ultimately we don’t tick a box to reach a government target. So sad given that there are thousands of children in the system waiting for a new family.
This has left us disenfranchised with broken systems in the UK. Up until recently our plan had been to move overseas to adopt but at this point, we’re still healing from the experiences we’ve had over the last few years and we’re somewhat ‘on the fence’ about whether or not we’ll adopt at all.
The fact that we don’t have children means that we sometimes feel like we don’t fit in in our community or our family as we’re the only childless couple. A few months ago, I was sitting in a local cafe enjoying coffee with a friend and realised that I was the only woman in the building without a child sitting on my lap! The town we live in is very family orientated (which is why we moved here 12 years ago when we were thinking of starting our own) but we just don’t fit in. Perhaps that’s our own perception but it does feel there is very little to do here unless you have a child strapped to you!
Thankfully I have moved beyond the ‘failure’ stage and now realise that perhaps I’m being called to do something even bigger and more magical with my life.
We both love being an auntie and uncle and spending time with our nieces and nephews who often come to us for advice and support. We wouldn’t change this for the world. Watching each one grow brings us so much joy.
Not having children does mean that we have more flexibility. Over the last few years rather seeing this as a curse, we’ve embraced this freedom and started to think about making some changes. My husband Matt has only ever lived a handful of miles from his birthplace whereas I’ve lived all over the place. In fact, being rooted in Godalming for the last 12 years is the longest I’ve lived anywhere! We toyed with moving to another part of the UK but realised that wherever we go we need to be close to good transport links as my job requires considerable overseas travel. Having visited lots of towns we couldn’t find somewhere that felt like it could be home. And the house prices…lets not go there!
Our mothers both passed away within months of each other a few years ago, followed by several other dear friends. We’ve come to realise that our time here on earth is short and you really have to make the most of his human adventure. My mother was a wanderlust and I like to think I’m following in her shoes somewhat!
As for Matt, I think he would say that after living in the same area his whole life, he’s ready for a change and if we don’t do it now, we probably never will.
Coupled with our adoption experience, we’ve found ourselves struggling with the increasingly polarised feeling in the UK. The level of fear-based thinking that the media would have us believe belittles our country and our sense of community. The last time I felt like this I went to study in the USA and came home with a new found appreciation for my homeland. Perhaps moving away for a while will help us to learn to appreciate our home country once again.
We don’t know how long we’ll be in Mexico….could be a couple of years, could be more. We’re making no firm plans and just watching what unfolds.
So how did we choose Mexico?
There is a longer back story to this question which I’ll share in more depth another time. My best friend (and ex husband) moved to Mexico in 2009 where he has made a new life with his fabulous husband and settled in San Miguel de Allende – a gorgeous UNESCO World Heritage town up in the mountains above Mexico City. When Joseph and I reconnected in 2009 and resurrected our friendship, we knew visits back and forth between our respective homes would be on the cards. Since then we have visited Mexico a number of times.
On each visit we have fallen more and more in love with this vibrant, colourful and diverse nation….most of which we still have to explore. In 2013 while sitting on the beach in La Penita, Matt finally said that he wanted to move to Mexico…the words I had patiently been waiting to hear for years! For a while we still thought it was a dream but then while sitting on another beach in Mexico last Christmas, we just decided that we had to work out a way to make it happen by hook or by crook!
When we got home from our Christmas hols in early January this year, we immediately began making plans as well as beginning the long and laborious process of decluttering our home. We’ve trusted that if we’re really supposed to move to Mexico, we’d be able to navigate every challenge along the way.
We knew we wanted to move to San Miguel de Allende to be nearer to friends. Fortunately some dear friends offered to rent a condo to us – literally yards from their own home. It’s the perfect setting and we’re so excited to move in soon. We have a lovely group of friends in the area and are looking forward to making more…as well as learning Spanish.
I’ll continue to work remotely from Mexico and being closer in time zone to the majority of our clients is going to make my life much easier as I’ll be able to keep more normal work hours. While I’m a night owl, I would like to have more evenings to get out and see friends rather than being tied to my desk.
This new adventure is a bigger deal for Matt. He has resigned from his job and is looking forward to taking some time out to retrain as well as think about what to do with the rest of his working life. That said, he’s always available for programming and proof reading jobs…so if you need any help in these areas, do get in touch! Our living costs will reduce considerably and I’ll be able to support us both for a while.
San Miguel has so much to offer and it’s clear that we’ll enjoy a better quality of life there. Mexico does have many challenges – just like every country does – but people there seem to appreciate life more. More on that soon.
Over the last 11 months we’ve probably made 50+ trips to the local dump and charity shops where we’re now on first name terms with the staff! I’ve sold stuff on eBay, given things away and finally sorted through boxes of stuff that have been sitting in our attic for years. Parting with so much ‘stuff’ has been a healing experience in itself! It’s just stuff and as the years pass, I’m gradually learning that the best things in life are experiences rather than things! There is now a distinct echo in some rooms of the house. While there is still a lot of packing to do, we are making good progress. When we’re tired, the thought of sunbathing on our roof garden in San Miguel keeps us going.
We’re scared and we’re very excited too. It’s a new adventure and a great way to dust of the cobwebs and reimagine our life together anew! Bring on Mexico!